Forgiveness

Nearly everyone of us has been hurt by some actions or words of our nearest and dearest ones. The reason may be anything under the sun, but the pain we feel is the same. I too was hurt very deeply, not once; but many times.

It was almost impossible for me to forgive this person. The sense of injustice kept alarming me not to forget those events of betrayal. My life was so miserable that I was hitting on every possible opportunity to find out its remedy for almost five years.

I tried to forget, to become insensitive, non reactive, emotionally numb, I even tried to hurt this person for revenge. Finally (after wasting around five precious years of my life) a time came when I gave up and accepted my destiny to be unhappy for the rest of my life.

Then, very recently I have realized something that brings a whole new meaning to my life. I came to know that my whole idea about forgiveness was totally wrong.

Forgiveness is not to forget, it doesn't mean revenge, or repayment, because none of them will undo the consequences of the offence of betrayal.

Forgiveness doesn't mean to deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting me and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. The point of forgiveness is not to change the other person’s behavior or character.

Then how to forgive and stop the pain…….

To stop the pain I have to agree to live with the consequences of another person’s fault, deficiencies or sin. There by I have to pay the price of the evil I forgive. It is really a very costly matter.

Practically speaking I have to live these consequences anyways. Now I have a choice; whether to live in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness.

And I decided to pay the cost.

The most precious thought I have realized recently that I am not going to forgive someone for their sake. I am going to do this for my own. By doing so I am taking away the power of the other person that continues to wield in my life.

Then the hardest part came…..To execute the act of forgiveness.

It was not very easy as the pain was still there in my heart.

So every time I started to get angry or sad with those unpleasant memories, I kept telling myself…… “No matter what you have done to me I forgive you and I am doing it for myself."

Every morning and night I started to pray to God with following words..

“God, I release (NAME) to You, and I release my right to seek revenge. I choose not to hold my bitterness and anger, and I ask You to heal my damaged emotions. Amen”

After few days it started working..

Now my heart is lighter and happier and free to love again.