To keep my love alive.

Soon you will find everything that matters 

The name, the fame, and the circles of flatter.

Thousands of fans in fb and twitter, 

Every night that sparkles with fake splash of glitter

People will thank u for your kind favor,   

As need is all that mean they will feed u with laughter,

 And u will think you are happy 

Someday coming back home late night after a pink shower 

Find no one at home upset or anyone for you to care     

You will suddenly feel empty somewhere inside. But who cares!  

Someday when you will not have someone to call 'mother'

Then you will realize you could have got your own sweet daughter.

To stand by you, Just the way I stood by my father.

Someday when your skin Will b wrinkled, eyes will be small.. 

You will probably need a hand to hold 

To walk the penguin steps. Like a happy old couple

Someday when u will have no one to impress, nobody to win.. 

I know u will miss me

When u will count your success to be 
Someone's 1st choice, 

Someone’s 1st love 

Someone’s true needs

I know u will miss me

May b then u will realize life could have been better

If you didn’t try to collect everything that glitters

May be then you will try to recall my trace

Find happy moments in my annoying face

I know u will miss me, then u will need me..

Its time all that matter, 

It was not same 10 yrs ago and it wouldn't be the same 10 yrs later, 

I know u will need me

I know you will miss me.

But my love,

I can’t wait till then, 

Because I know I shall not be the same

And if I stay my heart will b stoned

So I have to say goodbye.

To find another city, find another heart.

I have to say goodbye.  

To keep my love alive.

(These few words of mine is dedicated to someone who has lost the track of happiness)

Thoughts: Random # 1 LIFE COMES FULL CIRCLE

Thoughts# Random

Thoughts: Random # 1   LIFE COMES FULL CIRCLE

He was celebrating his success

She was smiling at his revival

He was craving for more success

He found her love faded in sparkling light of success

He said... I don’t need you anymore

She walked away quietly

He left alone with his success, time passed

He remembered her holding his hand when everybody else knocked him down

He hurried to reach her

He found her being protected by an embrace of love; just the way she protected him 

He saw her innocent smile in her face

She was shinning again.

The circle is completed

Follow your heart??

                                                            Follow your heart?

“Follow your heart wherever it may go, just don’t forget to bring your mind with you

we have a heart

Thus we have heartthrobs, heartaches, heartbreaks, heart stroke, and heart attacks heart murmur and thus we heart surgeons.

We can, ‘take heart’, we can ‘take to heart’ or we ‘can lose heart’; but ‘with all our hearts’ we follow our heart ‘with our heart’s content’.

We follow our heart to meet our dreams, expectation and desire.

But when we follow it blindly it brings us heartaches, heart rising and heart cloth.

In the war between heart vs. head, it is always seen that heart wins.

But it is also important to take our head along.

Why

Because heart is not only the source of love, compassion and instinct.

But heart has got much more to do in our life.

Heart has to pump 6 liters of blood in average 80 times per minute.

Heart has to supply energy oxygen and nutrition to our body, so that we can have a heart to learn, improve and refine our life.

So with due respect to heart follow your head to keep your heart healthy.

Because palpitation can change in to arrhythmia,

Heartbreaks can change in to angina

And fatigue can change into stroke.

One can be kind hearted, hard hearted or broken hearted, but we must learn by heart that our heart is precious.

So think twice when your heart says cheese burger, coke and smoke and spirit. Eating to your heart’s content with high spirit and lazy mornings can end up bringing to a heart surgeon.

Low cholesterol, less stress, healthy food, plenty of water and healthy life style, are the souls of healthy heart. So follow your head, bring healthy habits and live a healthy life.

With best wishes. 

Forgiveness

Nearly everyone of us has been hurt by some actions or words of our nearest and dearest ones. The reason may be anything under the sun, but the pain we feel is the same. I too was hurt very deeply, not once; but many times.

It was almost impossible for me to forgive this person. The sense of injustice kept alarming me not to forget those events of betrayal. My life was so miserable that I was hitting on every possible opportunity to find out its remedy for almost five years.

I tried to forget, to become insensitive, non reactive, emotionally numb, I even tried to hurt this person for revenge. Finally (after wasting around five precious years of my life) a time came when I gave up and accepted my destiny to be unhappy for the rest of my life.

Then, very recently I have realized something that brings a whole new meaning to my life. I came to know that my whole idea about forgiveness was totally wrong.

Forgiveness is not to forget, it doesn't mean revenge, or repayment, because none of them will undo the consequences of the offence of betrayal.

Forgiveness doesn't mean to deny the other person’s responsibility for hurting me and it doesn't minimize or justify the wrong. The point of forgiveness is not to change the other person’s behavior or character.

Then how to forgive and stop the pain…….

To stop the pain I have to agree to live with the consequences of another person’s fault, deficiencies or sin. There by I have to pay the price of the evil I forgive. It is really a very costly matter.

Practically speaking I have to live these consequences anyways. Now I have a choice; whether to live in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness.

And I decided to pay the cost.

The most precious thought I have realized recently that I am not going to forgive someone for their sake. I am going to do this for my own. By doing so I am taking away the power of the other person that continues to wield in my life.

Then the hardest part came…..To execute the act of forgiveness.

It was not very easy as the pain was still there in my heart.

So every time I started to get angry or sad with those unpleasant memories, I kept telling myself…… “No matter what you have done to me I forgive you and I am doing it for myself."

Every morning and night I started to pray to God with following words..

“God, I release (NAME) to You, and I release my right to seek revenge. I choose not to hold my bitterness and anger, and I ask You to heal my damaged emotions. Amen”

After few days it started working..

Now my heart is lighter and happier and free to love again.

My virtual friend "M"

My virtual friend “M”

It was quite a dramatic situation when I first came in to contact with my friend “M”. “M” because still don’t know what was her real name. I used to call her Mrinalini, with love ‘M’

This relationship ends in a mysterious way.

So when I first came in to contact with this lady; things already became very much complicated in terms of relationship and emotions. I had lots of complains against this lady as I was very highly persuaded against her by her own trusted one. Then I got the opportunity to clarify my complains and misunderstandings.

That was a journey in my life when I came to know about her story. My complains faded in to affection. My disgust turns in to care. OMG!!! Is that all she was going through!!. Many times she represents me. Many times she represents the whole womanhood. And I started assuming that she is a real fighter.

She took care of me in the most disgusting phase of my life. She saved me from emotional breakdown she saved my life in a real sense. We used to chat for hours. Revealing fears and insecurities of my life. All my complains against her was gone as I found her to be innocent victim of betrayal and depression. She was gone through the circumstances which any one of can face at any phase of life. And she despite of being heartbroken could find out many of the naked truths of life, love and relationship. She was my mentor in times when I really needed one.

I could never see her, but I could feel her all around me.

One day I suddenly found one mail from an unknown identity, who claims to be her closed one saying she is not in this world anymore. I can never believe this. I am still waiting for this virtual friend of mine. Especially today I really miss her so much .because I wanted to speak to her so much about my confusions.

My dear friend ‘M’ I don’t know whether u r real or not.

But whoever you are. I love you and I need you to be my friend.

If you were not there, my life would have been different by this time.

I love you and I am always thankful to you for whatever you have done for me.

Be in love and peace wherever you are.

Loving myself

Loving myself...

Few years back, when I was getting ready to go out somewhere; I was asked by someone close to me. … “Why you are so concerned about wearing a lip colour or choosing your dress while going out?” And this person also generalized to ask me.. Why u girls are so concerned about what other people say about your outfit and dresses…. Of course the intension was humiliation.

That time my answer was … ‘no I don’t want to look good or presentable for others , but I do it for myself.’

And they reply was a good mockery…

It was few years back and I was feeling very irritated as It was hurting my selfrespect.

It’s been quite some time from that incidence. During these years I have gone through many ups and downs of my life; starting from flying in seventh heaven with my love and spending sleepless lonely nights.

Throughout the whole time, I managed to dress good, wear my favorites colour lipstick, and singing my favorite music loudly, roaming around and to do everything that I enjoy to do with myself.

Although it was not always successful all the time but yes, I always intend to do so…

Because I loved myself…. I did not compromise in many circumstances.

Because I loved myself….I did not fake my emotions.

Because I loved myself…..In many times I was recognized by my loved ones to be selfish, self centered and arrogantly self independent.

But I still loved myself. Although I am always taught in books is that love is for others. I still want to say everyone that please love yourself. Because you are the only person who can understand yourself… believe every truth of your life…. Otherwise most of the times we waste our time in convincing others what really we are.

Now for the people who have started abusing me be to be selfish and self centered; I want to elaborate what I really mean by saying loving myself.

Love myself means believe in my principles and ideas and to find a reason to believe in me.

To walk in my path even if I don’t get favorite company all the time..

To learn enjoy doing things even if I m not appreciated.( provided what I m doing is harmless)

And above all to express my believes without going to the calculation of loss and gain.

By loving myself I prevent myself to be a beautifully wrapped gift box to someone having some waste inside.

Self love brings self respect to me.

Self love also brings self confidence to me.

Self love gives me the opportunity to cherish myself for who I am. Besides the flaws and deficiencies in me, I want to be proud of my values in life and get the strength to keep those values in me in any damn circumstance.

Many times I was distracted from my values and principles in virtue of fulfilling others’ dreams. And after these years I have learned that sacrifice is not the highest thing to do for someone u love. Its better way to put your ideas and opinion rather than to make someone happy at the cost of your self-respect.

The thin line between self love and arrogance is very crucial. I think I have become wise enough to understand those moments when I crossed the line in my past, and I always want to keep rectify those mistakes.

That way I came to know about my deficiencies. And I accepted all of them. I know it is a never ending process and in my future I m going to pass through hurdles.. And my experiences will teach me many lessons about life. But despite of all I want to continue to love myself. I believe God loves people who love themselves.

I m what I am only because I love myself and I will always do.

Reconciliation….

Sometimes when I try to analyze myself, I found everything average about me.. an average look, average height. Intelligence, from an average family..average skill and of course an average luck…

And I am always stuck in the luck..

Is this all average things are due to my luck.. or any of these could be more of less than average..

Sometimes I think of doing something to change my ‘ohh so average’ lifestyle.. Sometimes to degrade the emotional value.. Sometimes to upgrade my skills..

I always thought that my qualities are above average.. but I keep waiting for someone in my life to pull them up..but unfortunately, being an emotional fool, always end up in sacrificing many of them on the way of making my loved ones happy..

Recently I found that writing a blog is in fashion..

Why do people write a blog..

For some of them it’s a easy way to use their creativity.. appreciate it, for some of them to show there intellect..( where sometimes its only show off) , for others it seems to be totally personal.. and at the same time also like to socialize their personal life.. and for some morons to manipulate others life and hurting others emotions..

Then why me…

I m not a creative person, neither intellect, No t a social person, and I m sure hardly anybody will know or read my blog.. as I m not going to do any self advertisement of this.. And surely any of them are never so influenced by me to be manipulated .

So why m I writing these blogs..

I m a very introvert.I hardly talk to a stranger.. i don’t like ‘OHH SS CHweet ..honey’ kindda appreciation to my most hated friends.. so sometimes I feel that I am left alone and hold back by my hopeless genuine expressions to others,,,.. i would rather solicit loneliness than to be with some social animal who are more interested in showing off their happiness in social network..

Then I thought why not a diary,,,?

Diary is taken too be too personal.. I don’t like that either..

So my blog is for myself..Anyone pass by unknowingly,, I don’t mind.

So in the name of my Fairy.. I m going to note down some of my pent up emotions only for myself..

This will help my analyze my strength and weakness and also to upgrade or degrade them..

I wish all the best to myself.. I wish I can treat myself in a fair way.